I am not sure if it is funny or sad, maybe both, that when I start to think about how I will introduce myself my “flaws” are what first comes to mind. But, since this is my thoughts, here we go.
I am often confused with my own emotions, angry at something, addicted to netflix instead of studying, OCD about so many things. One month into marriage and already a nagging wife, terrified I am too lazy to accomplish my dreams, my thunder thighs. And the list goes on and on.
My positive qualities come later. Much later. I have to sit and think on them. Why do people like me? I have a incredible husband and amazing friends, so there must be something that I offer.
Here are the things I like about myself. I am generous, I could give and give all day – maybe too much but I wouldn’t trade this quality for anything. I have heard I am a good at listening. I don’t often see this myself, but others seem to. I know I like to listen to other people’s stories. It makes me feel less alone. So maybe I am a selfish listening, but I think that is okay. (I am alone in that I feel I need to justify the things I like about myself?)
I like my nose. I know that is vein, but I really do. It’s adorable and perfectly shaped. I am flexible. Very flexible. I was born that way and thank my mother for it, especially when I am yoga with my spine bent in half. I am passionate about so much. I used to see this as a fault because I could never figure what to do with my life. I still haven’t, but being passionate is good for now. I am good at loving my husband. I can see his needs and respect his boundaries – most of the time.
That is a lot of things about me. It probably creates an incredibly confusing image. But, like I said – I am often confused.
As I write this I am beginning to think that I am probably none of these things in full. Rather I am somewhere in the middle. Journeying along. Some days I have good days and some days not so much. Beating myself up on the bad days won’t do much for me, but killing myself to try and only have good days probably won’t get me far either. There is strange balance between letting it be (letting go) and working hard. I want big dreams, crazy goals, and I want to be okay re-watching Buffy episodes when I can’t concrete on school or meditation.
I am a person in the middle. Trying to be okay with being the middle.
I am Danielle.